Step Eight: Be Frank (But Mostly Yourself)

If there is one thing that I sincerely dislike, it's being lied to. I don't care what the situation is, or all the good intentions behind it, lying is not okay. You could go into how difficult trust is to maintain, or the foundation that lying builds (both dangerous and slippery), but ultimately lying is about respect. 

You should respect your spouse.

For me this means that Mr. E knows my motivations behind my desires. I tell him all the nitty gritty details of why I want something done and for the most part his eyes glaze over but at least he knows I would never withhold something from him. That's the price he's willing to pay.

I find that when I'm talking with my girlfriends they're often more upfront and blunt with me about their feelings in their relationships than they are with their significant other. In my opinion, if you're serious about your relationship then there is no reason to beat around the bush with how you're feeling. Isn't the point of being an adult finding the things that work for you? Letting go of the things that don't?  Granted that's super simplified, but if you can't understand how you work, how can you expect your husband to do it for you?

I think the best example of this is primetime television. Maybe you're not a big fan, but a lot of weeknight shows reel in their viewers by creating situations and characters you can relate to: generation gaps, experiences we're all familiar with, and relationships we've been a part of. For example: the best relationship quirk is when Lucy lies to Ricky- to protect or help or manipulate him- but eventually all the lies clear and Lucy (and the audience) realizes that Ricky never needed to be lied to in the first place. We all learn that the deception was unneeded and created more drama than was initially there.

Your husband is Ricky (for now). He wants to know you and love you- every single part of you. So give him the same treatment you expect for yourself.