Showing posts with label expectations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label expectations. Show all posts

Friday, January 3, 2014

Let's All Resolve To...

This is my New Year's concession for blogging. It's almost expected, right? I need to write on all the ways that 2013 made me a better person, the obstacles I overcame and how I resolve to do amazing things in the upcoming year.

Maybe it's just the killer headache from too much holiday (remember that Berenstein Bears book?) or my absolute lack of enthusiasm for staring at my computer screen, but 2013 was a very angry year.
Cover art
There was a lot of stress in our world when Mr. E graduated and we up and moved to LA- neither one of us particularly city-people. Sure, living here is great, but downsizing was a pain in the butt, budgeting is tough and we got slammed with a car break-down at the same time we were apartment hunting. Mr. E's playing heads-up-seven-up with jobs at the moment and I'm attempting that ruthless jump from temp agency to full-time employee- provided I continue to like this company.

But even outside our own sphere of the world things are looking pretty angry: we're hating on celebrities, we're hating on institutions, we're hating on everyone else's likes and dislikes, their choices, what they support, what they don't and how they do it. There's a lot of opinions out there, guys. I get it. There's a lot of ignorance, perceived or otherwise. There's anger and fear and shame and guilt and a whole host of negative qualities that could probably fill the internet a thousand times over.

I'll be the first to tell you that I can get angry easily. My coworker was very clearly (and very loudly) typing something repetitive today that just about had me kicking the cubicle wall (if I had to guess it'd probably be LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLZ,  the jerk). I get pissed when people go the speed limit on the freeway. I'm mad when my Disney Hidden World's game doesn't accept when I'm clearly pointing to the correct object.
None of this makes me happy.
Angry Peyton Manning Stare Angry Peyton Manning Stare
I like to think that I follow a pretty wide range on the internet- those of you who craft, who read, who write, who snark, research, drink tea, hate tea, have kids, have dogs-who-think-they're-kids, love fandoms, love fans, support causes and just need somebody to talk to at all hours of the day (Hi, Twitter!). A lot of you preach to do what makes you happy. You pin it, you remind yourself of it all the time, but did you ever stop to think that it's less of an action and more of a choice?

World, let's make a resolution together. It doesn't have to be first or your list or kick off something else that's important to you. Can we please PLEASE remind ourselves to be happy. To let it go? To accept that the world does not play fair, does not have the same rules for everyone and we'll just have to agree to disagree sometimes. Stop the hateful comments. Stop the passive-aggressive responses. Every one of us is entitled to opinions but you don't need to say yours louder in order for it to be more correct.
I resolve to be a happier person in 2014.

I didn't need a generic time of the year to choose this, but it sure is a nice built-in motivator, isn't it?

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Step Eighteen: Be Honest (?)

We've already talked about being honest with your husband- how omitting things, avoiding blame and outright lying to your spouse can lead to resentment and trust issues. And what's a relationship without trust? Not a whole lot.

So you know it's important to be honest with your husband, but an important step in the process is to be honest with yourself.

Chances are you know exactly what you can handle, but do you know how much your husband can handle? Do you know his breaking point? His comfort zone? These things aren't just nice to know- they're useful tools in gauging your husband's ability to juggle life's curveballs.

Keep it real, readers! Expectations are well and good but understand that your standards and his standards may differ. Communicate with each other, but above all, have realistic expectations. I would love to have my home sparkling and spotless when I come home each day, but that's not a very realistic request of my husband- just as he knows it's not realistic for me to make dinner everyday. When we commit to honest dialogue, we encourage a relationship that's built on more than just assumptions, but trust and respect.