Makin' a Movie

Making a student film is like...

Baking cupcakes at the last minute for your kid to take to school the next day. Only your high hopes of showing off to all the other parents/teachers/volunteers by making treats from scratch is subject to things like reality and high expectations when you realize you need these cupcakes NOW and it's 10:30 at night but you have no ingredients. So you have to run to the store (Wal-Mart, because what the heck else is open?) and even though you attempted to make this a productive trip and wrote down a list and shit, you definitely forgot that in your car.

So you're cruising down the aisles, trying to remember what you wrote down, avoiding eye contact and worrying the whole time that you are losing SLEEP (you know, that thing you've looked forward to all day?) and spending MONEY despite a budget you've set yourself. But won't it be worth it? Won't your kid love you even more and look back on memories like this thinking, Gee, my mom loved me so much she spent the time to bake me special things. 

So you're all high on visions of grandeur, but really its just the smell of the person in front of you who has dandruff halfway down their back and you realize you completely forgot frosting. While you were willing to bake these mini cakes from scratch, you draw the line at frosting because those 7-year-olds won't even appreciate true buttercream frosting and besides you're already at the store. But then you realize that all the crap in your cart costs more than you expected and all you have is a ten dollar bill.

When you finally get home you're exhausted but you whip up a quick batter, pop those babies in the oven, take one look at the mess you've made in the kitchen and slide it all into the sink. That's clean enough. Who's really going to fault you except yourself? It's the cupcakes that are the priority, not the clean counters. Yeah, that's some first class justification you just dealt yourself, but it's 11:30 at night (much later than you had initially _wanted_ to go to bed) and some things are expendable.

Sadly, you spend another 45 minutes waiting for the cupcakes to cool so you can frost them and dammit if they don't frost properly. So then you have sugar all over your fingers, sprinkles between your toes (because of course you spilled) and your expectations for these glorious cupcakes are quickly dropping. You spend another ten minutes hunting for the tupperware you know will fit all of these damn cakes, only to realize your husband used it to put away leftovers (for once). 

In the morning your kid has those friggin cupcakes, proud as can be, maybe not for the reasons you envisioned, but they're made, they're frosted and they're out of your hands. Now it's up to someone else to enjoy them.

Yeah, making a student film is kind of like that.

Cater to Your Every Whim

I think I may have lost my mind.

In an effort to cut costs and support Mr. E on his student film, I offered to cater food for 3 of 5 days. 

Let's be clear.

I cook. Pretty well too! Pork chops with peaches, Meatloaves, burgers, mashed potatoes, etc etc.

I bake. Pies, cookies, homemade breads, etc etc.

Because I do these things, and I enjoy doing these things, and I've heard praise for doing these things...I thought helping Mr. E out would be useful. Fun, even.

And then I realized that I need three meals on different days for 30+ people. 

Pizza is frowned upon for SAG actors because it's too "cliche". Though I could probably swing it if I wanted (hello? pizza and salad and apple crisp? that's not your average college set, now is it?!)

So I need to get creative.
Pasta and meatballs...with salad and garlic bread.
     Meatballs are easy enough to make ahead of time. The pasta dried out by the time I transported it to set last time, so we'll see if we can think of something sneaky to keep it slippery and serve-able.

Carne Asada fries
     French fries, carne asada meat, refried beans, cheese, guacamole (optional) and sour cream (optional).

     I loved getting these at theatre rehearsals- everyone loves Mexican food and these are SO EASY to whip up. Mr. E requested these the last day due to bean content.

My coup de grace? Breakfast for dinner.
     I'll cook dozens of pancakes and just fry up sausage and bacon! Who doesn't eat bacon? Plus, I've already made lemon bars for the masses, so we'll call that their "fresh fruit" for the day, yeah? 

We can all ignore the three sticks of butter I added, mmkay?

Coming Home

There are few things more ahh-worthy than coming home from an extended stay to a clean house.

The stress and worry of your (relaxing) weekend melt away to the sight of your perfectly plumped, extremely inviting couch. Oh and that already-made bed? Begging you to jump in and sleep, please.

I love visiting family. I love seeing everyone, cooking, baking, watching movies, playing games- it's great. But there comes one night too many when you realize you would LOVE to sleep in your own bed instead of the couch. 

But possibly the most excited of all of us? Ripley bee-lined inside the house exactly to where she left her poor mangled Hippo, carried his pink pelt to her favorite chew spot and went to town.

She even forwent her new bone for that stuffed animal. 

Thankful.

In the last few years I can truly say that my cup runneth over with blessings. Most notably:

1. My husband. Of course, so much of what I have and look forward to having is because of this man.

2. My wonderfully supportive family. I am absolutely enveloped in love and understanding each time I see them. I am so thankful to have such a great support group behind me.

3. My job. I have struggled- and often still do- with what I want to do with my life. I've always had part time jobs since everything took a back seat to school and while graduating has cut down on some of the stress, I find it strange to adjust to ONE job ALL the time. But having a job that pays well not only sets me up for a career but bolsters my self-worth: I work full-time. I am useful and I am using the knowledge that I struggled through four years of school to get. That makes what I do a million times more fulfilling.

4. Our home! We live in Orange County and I can't tell you how thankful I am that we pay what we do. I've looked around at other apartments, townhouses and condos and we are far and away getting the best bang-for-our-buck. We are in a nice neighborhood within walking distance of school and groceries, we have a small yard and a garage plus our utilities are paid for. 
     You know that saying, "What if you woke up with only the things you thanked God for last night?" I would never lose this house!

5. A few of our "things" (though not for reasons you would think!)
 Our car: this clunker has broken down on us twice, but I am so thankful to have a car to rely on when we need it. We've found other ways to make-up for any mishaps, but having a car has really given us the independence to be able to do the things we want together.
 
Our Kitchen-aid: This handy machine has not only helped me with cooking, but it's useful as relationship glue too! Cooking is a way of reaching out to people, sharing and enjoying memories with others. Yes, I could do do the same thing without it, but it's certainly a luxury I enjoy.

 Our TV: This might come off as a little indulgent, but as Mr. E is a film student, showing movies in the best quality is really important! When it's basically your job to KNOW why movies look the way they do and each time you sit down is a chance to study lighting, effects, cinematography, etc, it's helpful to have a nice TV. Someday (when we're feeling even more indulgent) we'll work on the sound too...

 Our Ripley: I'm glad we waited to get her, but having a puppy has really kicked our butts in to gear. Sad to say, but we were getting pretty lazy at home looking after only ourselves- having a puppy motivates us to get things done more often. Plus, she's pretty cute, so there's that. ;)

Sickly

This is no good. 

No durn good.

Today I am home sick. Today I will rest and nap and cuddle my puppy in huge blankets watching Netflix.

Today I feel conflicted about not going to work- I like work, but I also cannot speak and I had a slight fever last night. So maybe it's for the best.

I came home yesterday sounding like a pubescent boy because my voice cracked so bad. Mr. E plopped me down on the couch with his favorite comforter and made me some Spongebob mac and cheese (blue box, of course). It was full of preservatives and delicious.

I did nothing but sit on the couch all evening- only half watching shows. And to some extent it felt nice to not do anything. But I also get restless easily. 

I wish there was some way to read and watch TV at the same time. 

Seasons

I think I love all seasons equally.

Spring, when the whole world is waking up. Mornings seem brighter, grass smells new and that insatiable tugging in your chest reminds you that outside is better.

Summer, with its lazy days and warm nights; less clothes, more grilling and time seems to stop in the middle of a glorious afternoon.

Fall, its hints and traces of smoke, of cold and of color. By turns one season and then another, never quite deciding which way to sway until it slowly slips to colder weather.

And winter. Bundling, snuggling, nesting, cozy. Even in southern California you find more reasons to stay inside, enjoying company and food and memories as the world continues on outside.

Sometimes, I jump the gun on seasons. Sometimes, I catch myself remembering a season past or a season to come and I remind myself to try to enjoy the season I'm in before it's gone.

Now that the holidays are coming up I find myself cleaning and organzing with renewed zeal. Spring cleaning doesn't have ANYTHING on fall nesting! All of the projects I should have started months ago are forefront in my mind, constantly reminding me that I have procrastinated too long.

Do I have enough thread?
Will my packages get out on time?
Is the bathroom clean for guests?
Did I remember to write down the paint color I need?

As crazy as it gets, I live for this. I love giving, I love helping and I love keeping my things organized. With all the projects I have going on, it's important to be able to find exactly what I need for when the mood strikes. It's also important to be able to shove it away quickly when we have guests over.

What crazy love/hate relationships do you have with your habits?

Mommy Dearest

Readers: LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER.

Otherwise you wear a hand-me-down skirt on your commute to work, only to realize three quarters of the way there that the slit in the back is so. long. that your unmentionables are clearly visible as you pass a storefront window.

So then you're forced to hold your beautiful gifted leather messenger work bag strategically behind your bare self. And fight the bright red blush you can feel crawling all over your body.

Sometimes you're lucky enough to be a crafty mother-duck and have embroidery thread for your cross-stitch in your bag.

And then you lock yourself in the biggest bathroom stall, pop a squat and sew the foot long slit with tiny black stitches.

Sure, you may never be able to face your fellow commuters again, but at least no one at work saw you. Like the little old Asian men who walked behind you up the stairs. Yeah, they definitely didn't see anything.